My Favorite Ways to Get More Pets

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Hiii guys!

It’s your girl, Chloe “Princess” Penelope Bouton. Today I’m gonna share my favorite ways to get more pets from your human. I use these skills *literally* every day and I think all pets should be familiar with them. So here are my top tactics to get more attention, from least to most dramatic:

Tactic #5: Be a lap dog

As soon as your human sits down, drape yourself across their lap. Be dramatic, like you’re DYING without their immediate love. DO NOT move until attention has been granted and the proper number of pets have been given.

Success rate: 93% (basic but dependable)

Tactic #4: Use your big girl voice

Bark at your human until they have acknowledge you. Bark LOUDLY. Humans don’t have very sensitive ears. You should get their undivided attention eventually, but be careful with this one. It definitely works, but it, uhh, has a tendency to backfire and land you in time-out.

Success rate: 57% (just be prepared for potential backlash)

Tactic #3: Be a cat

Yes, you heard me right! Our feline friends have made some great headway into this area of study. Begin by bumping into your human with your snoot, then your paw, then your entire body. Bump them over and over again. Pets should come after just a few tries.

Success rate: 67% for dogs, 96% for cats

Tactic #2: Throw a Hold Me Now Hissy Fit

So I touched on this method in my previous article, but this is like my go-to tactic when the more basic ideas don’t work. Glare at your human and show them your booty. Snort and sniffle with disgust at their lack of care for you. Be super pupset. The more pupset, the better.

Success rate: 70% when used on its own, 94% when paired with Tactic #3 or #4

Tactic #1: Make the humans think you’re lost

Ok guys, this one is *PURE GOLD* but you can only use it a few times per year. MAX. Hide until the humans feel they have lost you. They will run all over calling your name, but wait to present yourself until you hear panic or see tears (or both). When you let them find you, they will love all over you out of sheer gratitude! Put on your best angel face so they don’t suspect anything.

Success rate: 100% (if used appropriately and sparingly)

Let me know which method works best for your human in the comments below. And remember: there is *literally* NO SUCH THING as too much attention!

xoxo

🐾 Chloe

Persnickety Pets: Hold Me Now Hissy Fit by Chloe

Chloe Pampered Princess pets The Persnickety Pets

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