Ahoy!
Tuck the Dragonslayer here. I spend my days guarding the backyard from the beasts of the dark, so I know my way around the hooligans of this world. Here are my top 5 backyard bandits that must be banished:
1. Mail carriers
Per the creed of dogs everywhere. Unless they bring the Chewy boxes. Then we shall let them pass. For the treatos.
2. Squirrels
Dragons of the rodent world, I tell ye. Always collecting things and hiding things and looking for their treasures. Cannot be trusted. Must be captured.
3. Birbs
Not *usually* a threat, but very fun to rile up. They get very chattery. Watch out for the sky bombs they drop.
4. Other doggos
You can only bork at these through the fence, but you must stand your ground nonetheless. Protect the backyard!
5. Squirrels that you didn’t get the first time
Cowards! All of them! Banished!
Beware these five beasts of the dark in your backyard. One can never be too cartful when it comes to one’s boundaries.
Until we meet again,
🐾 Tucker
